Not my home

It's hard to explain how unsettled your heart can feel when you see "home" (one of a growing number of homes) on the front screen of your news browser.  I remember the same feelings in 1997, when I was a freshmen at K-State, desperately missing home.  And my daddy was volunteering for search and rescue following the US Embassy explosion in Nairobi. 

February 19th, 2008 Austin and I had a coffee date at the Java house in this mall.  I was so pregnant and so desperate for Ellianna to be born.  Our world felt desperately upside down then.  We had left our Central Asian home to deliver Ellianna.  2 days after arriving the election rioting in Nairobi began and we contemplated leaving with the masses, as my OBGYN had already fled to Italy.  But we had stayed.  She had come back.  Our CA colleagues were all hunkered down in Dubai with their own bleeding hearts, looking hard to Father and trusting his watch care and protection.  Our hearts were torn, but the incredible focus of a mother about to give birth, had me in it's grip.  After my OB appointment, Austin took me out for coffee.  At Westgate Mall.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-24188201

The same mall that is still under siege by extremists.

Just over 1 week ago another "home" popped up on the newsfeed.  A consulate attack at a five star hotel.  The one with the restaurant we reserved for those extra special date nights.  Those nights were I could slip my head covering around my shoulders and were my jeans under my knee length trench coat, and feel kinda cute! 

Austin made a passing comment, "it's crazy how many places we've been that at some point fall apart."
It is crazy.

It makes me crazy ready for a home where peace, love and security is all we know!

Remembering today, this world is not my home! 

Cause it's often felt upside down!

We started school 6 weeks ago, shortly after we came back.  It's taken us a while to get into a good rhythm, but I do think we are on our way.  Yet the reality is, most days it feels like this:

Like the globe, it has felt like each day is spinning upside down; being propped up and held together by Jesus alone.  Often in some of the most unusual ways!  (We made a paper mache globe at the start of our World History.  Globe making is much harder than one would anticipate.  I wanted to give up, but Ethan wouldn't let us.  We have a complete globe, lacking only a final coat of glue!)

On one such day, when it felt like my little world had turned upside down from how I had planned it, this is what He gave as my reminder halfway through the day:

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. (almost comical how fitting that is!)  But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me.  Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward - to Jesus.  I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back."  Philippians 3:12-14 MSG.  

Such a good reminder that maybe the goal of all things being right in my world, things going as I've planned, isn't really what my goal should be.

Here's some fun school pictures:  

 Elli documenting how the Egyptians (ie. Star Wars Lego figures) moved large bricks (ie: Daddy's Theology book) to make the pyramids.  Elli's half finished french braided pigtails, is fitting of many of our days. :)

 

 Working on our solar system as we study space in science this year.  We've welcomed a visitor into numerous school times, as he shows up to play and just waits around until Ethan's done.  If he's too disruptive, he is sent out to play with Elias while we finish school!

 First day of school picture: Elli in Kindergarten and Ethan in 3rd grade!  Ethan was headed to the first day of local school (thus the uniform!)

 Cheering brother on!

A heart for harvest!

Early this summer, Austin and the kids planted American sweet corn seeds at our office.  There is no such thing as sweet corn here, and being from Kansas we love and miss sweet corn.  We, the kids especially, were hopeful of a good crop of corn.  When we left for vacation in early July, the future of the harvest was uncertain.

While we enjoyed good ol' Kansas sweet corn, teammates and local friends watered our crop back home.

Our first picking was a little late, the corn was over ripe.  I don't know much about growing corn, but my "farm boy" husband advised me that it didn't pollinate well either.  But from the excitement of our family, and the way we downed it at dinner time, you would not have known anything to be lacking.

Zeke's naps were all messed up on this day and he was exhausted.  But he was determined to enjoy every last bit! (I hope you can get the video.  YouTube continues to be a "hit and miss" thing here, so I gave it a valiant effort, in hopes you'd get some good chuckles from it!)

 

Saturday, Austin and the 3 big kids picked the rest of the crop and cleared out all the stalks.  I did the research at home on blanching and freezing corn on the cob, because the family vote was to save the corn to share at our team Thanksgiving feast.   


It all seems fitting.  My heart has been heavy for a harvest.  A harvest of hearts.  To continue to live among hard hearted people who care nothing for what I love the most, grows wearisome.  As I boiled the first batch of corn, Father impressed on my heart to ask for a "transplanted harvest."  A community of His people is not the norm here, but really as "strangers and foreigners" we aren't supposed to be the norm anywhere.  The harvest may not look as I envision; there may be gaps and small ears and parts that show poor pollination.  But isn't that how He works; "taking the foolish things to shame the wise."  My heart, my character, still shows areas of lacking.  That is why His continued work of transformation in me is so sweet.  But the feast, where we all sit together and celebrate His harvest in and around us, that will be a sweet day.  I guess much like a Thanksgiving feast.  Ask with me that He would add to our number around that table!