Just some processing!

Can I process with you for a moment?  I don't have any pictures, and probably won't do any fancy fonts or indenting, just have thoughts jumbled in my head that I think would do me good, and do more of His good in me, if I got them out.  For it's raw-ness, I apologize.  But I've wanted to be better about sharing more of the moment to moment, and not just the after-the-fact slideshow. 

Yesterday, Austin and I's morning routine was halted by the BBC headlines.  A home we had made and enjoyed (in many ways) was ravaged by 2 bombs on Monday.  We both sat stunned as we watched live footage down a street we had walked countless times; going to visit Lisle's; Austin and Ethan buying nan paying with a "credit stick;" walking to a tailor friend who made all our floor pillows and several shirts.  Never did I think "that's our street.  Is that our house?" would come out of my mouth while watching BBC.  Austin quickly emailed our old landlord/dear friend, to find out how they were.  All were fine and they planned to return to their home in a days time.  The next thoughts through my head were, "I'm glad we moved.  It could have been us; my kids."  And the thought that trailed that one was one of those sweet Father whispers "they are my kids and I watch over them."

Remember that paradigm blowing 2002 Summit retreat; Ethan B- something?  Wasn't that his name?  That safety is an illusion and our days are really the Lords.  The rest of the day it was like I had a podcast of his talk running through my head; with little scratches and blips missing.  

I remember Ethan's first day of Kindergarten (and numerous days afterwards).  9-4p.m. is so long for my little 5 year old to be under the instruction of someone else.  We've taught him to respect and obey the teaching of authority and it wasn't long before he came home with his mind full of ghost and witch stories.  Halloween, hadn't thought through that one.  We hadn't been around Halloween and here he was hearing all these stories from people we had taught him to respect.  "We don't believe in that, buddy.  Jesus is victorious over all that darkness."  Numerous nights of re-guiding and re-teaching.  They are His and He will guide them!

"Mary" asked again yesterday if Elli could come with her for the afternoon to her village to play and pick cherries.  Elli, my 3 year old (who thinks she's 12)?  Austin and I talked it over, weighting the risks and benefits.  One of our goals as a family is to grow in our love for our national friends.  An afternoon together, doing such fun things on a farm would foster that.  But this place isn't the most kid-friendly (in that nothing is "baby proofed").  We felt okay if Ethan went along too.  His local language is better; he's a lot more responsible and less distracted by his whims or emotions.  I didn't tell him he was in charge (as I don't want to foster too much of that) but knew he would watch out for Elli.  Mary said it would be an hour and a half trip.  I new better than that.  I prayed all afternoon.  Prayed over open water ditches; prayed for local transportation; prayed for squatty pottys.  You name it I (and my girl friends) covered it in prayer.  But I prayed too for great memories to happen for my kids, in language and with local friends.  My heart was relieved when they came home.  And He again whispered, as we listened to story after story at the dinner table, "they are mine, I will watch over them." 

Austin and I have been given a great gift and responsibility in parenting and guiding our 3 precious children.  As I do it, may my heart remember that regardless of the location or the circumstance, I am merely a steward of this precious gift and that He is ultimately trustworthy!