Not my home

It's hard to explain how unsettled your heart can feel when you see "home" (one of a growing number of homes) on the front screen of your news browser.  I remember the same feelings in 1997, when I was a freshmen at K-State, desperately missing home.  And my daddy was volunteering for search and rescue following the US Embassy explosion in Nairobi. 

February 19th, 2008 Austin and I had a coffee date at the Java house in this mall.  I was so pregnant and so desperate for Ellianna to be born.  Our world felt desperately upside down then.  We had left our Central Asian home to deliver Ellianna.  2 days after arriving the election rioting in Nairobi began and we contemplated leaving with the masses, as my OBGYN had already fled to Italy.  But we had stayed.  She had come back.  Our CA colleagues were all hunkered down in Dubai with their own bleeding hearts, looking hard to Father and trusting his watch care and protection.  Our hearts were torn, but the incredible focus of a mother about to give birth, had me in it's grip.  After my OB appointment, Austin took me out for coffee.  At Westgate Mall.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-24188201

The same mall that is still under siege by extremists.

Just over 1 week ago another "home" popped up on the newsfeed.  A consulate attack at a five star hotel.  The one with the restaurant we reserved for those extra special date nights.  Those nights were I could slip my head covering around my shoulders and were my jeans under my knee length trench coat, and feel kinda cute! 

Austin made a passing comment, "it's crazy how many places we've been that at some point fall apart."
It is crazy.

It makes me crazy ready for a home where peace, love and security is all we know!

Remembering today, this world is not my home!