Walking in Grace

There's a group of eleven women, only three of us English speakers, that are gathering in a monthly game this year.  On the third of every month, we're throwing $20 into the group pot.  We've drawn names and each of us gets a turn to take the pot home.  It totals almost $200.  Some of the women are related and some have never met.  But we are all connected somehow.  In a world where it is impossible to save, where the financial outputs far exceed any salary that is brought in, a large lump sum helps in so many ways.  I plan to post more of this game, with pictures of my deepening group of friends. 

With the start of the year, we started on Thursday.  Big snowflakes were falling and it was really cold out.  There had been all kinds of discussion over where we should meet to draw the names and get acquainted.  I told them we could meet at my house.  Most of the local ladies objected.  Though a restaurant in January is guaranteed to be cold, to meet in a house demands the obligatory spread.  The table cloth, often spread out on the floor, covered with nuts, dried fruits, multiple kinds of cookies, chocolates and cakes.  Several bottles of soda or pitcher of home-canned compote carefully placed in the center and some fruit, of it's very limited varieties perfectly placed for the satisfaction of the guests.  Beyond the spread, a meal would be expected.  A good hour into chatting, homemade nan and soup or the traditional osh would be presented to each guest.  Though everyone of us would strongly resist with comments of "why did you work so hard, you shouldn't have," if the meal isn't offered, the "gap" (the gossip) starts to fly as soon as the guests leave the party.  "She didn't feed us," "what she gave us was so simple, was warmed up leftovers."  I've left countless gatherings, in the pack of women all walking home together, and heard the criticisms fly.  The criticisms have come back to me; "so-n-so's mother-in-law has told people that your yard is dusty and disorderly, that you don't pick up your children's toys."  Those words sting, when it feels like such a battle and process to do it right; to do it like them.

After much debate, we met at my house.  And I intentionally laid a very scant table; cookies bought by the kilo and a wacky cake.  I've learned in living here that even the simple things can be made beautiful.  So I laid my contrasting cookies on the plates and sprinkled powdered sugar over top the chocolate cake.  As I made the preparations I could feel the knot in my stomach growing.  It took a bit to identify.

It is hard to walk in grace among a people who have never received it; who never give it; who, when I speak it, don't even know what the word means.  

I wanted them all to know I know how to lay the spread.  I have learned what their culture requires and I can (try to) do it.  But if that standard is set in the first meeting, then it must be maintained.  And the cost of such a spread would quickly drain the pot that had us meeting together in the first place.  So I chose to walk in grace.  I do so, that others may find freedom to do the same.

And really, isn't that what we've been called to do.  Far beyond how we receive a guest or what my yard looks like.  I've been called to live among those who don't know Him.  But live as His child, in all the grace and freedom He has given me. 

Things I thought I'd never do

Lately there has been a list of things that we have adopted/started doing and I would never have guessed we would do them.  I thought I'd share some of them. 

1. Start up "windowsill farming."

This was our bumper crop of persimmons.  Last year we had 8 total and this year we had closer to 60.  Persimmons are better the riper they are, so we ripened them in the windowsill.  Any recipes for persimmons?  I've got cups of puree frozen in my freezer.

 

 

Elli polishing our apples from our huge apple harvest. 

The apple tree in our yard yielded a lot of apples this year.  I don't know what kind of apples they are, but here they describe them as "winter apples," if stored properly they'll last into the winter.  So we picked, polished and carefully packed boxes of apples into our outside kitchen.  Again the "Ma Ingles" feeling washed over me.  After canning 30 kg (66lbs) of apples for applesauce, the option to store and enjoy fresh apples into the winter was so promising.  A week after storing them, I checked on the apples.  I found an apple in the box almost half eaten with large gnawing marks; telling that a fat rat had rained on my Laura Ingles moment.  I was pretty grossed out and upset about it.  We couldn't figure out another solution that would allow good air circulation to keep the apples fresh but keep rats from getting to them. 

We decided to move them into our large guesting room and store them on the window sills.  The room is in the shade and stays incredibly cool.  No evidence of rats and we still have a handful of apples to finish off.  

With the help of a team of 5 women from Richmond, I canned 50 kgs (110lbs)  of tomatoes this fall.  Yet I knew this wouldn't be enough to get us through the winter.  I honestly was out of canning energy; it was probably the applesauce that did me in.  One Saturday morning in November, I was out with Elli and Elias and saw some grandmas in town from a neighboring village.  One was selling buckets of green tomatoes.  I bought all she had, 20 more kgs.  And you guessed it, they ended up in my window sills.  Those 20 kgs have slowly ripened and I've used them in soups and spaghetti.  My strategy has been to delay opening my canned tomatoes as long as I can.  And so far it's worked.  I haven't needed to use my canned tomatoes yet, so we should make it until fresh come out close to May. The kids have requested hamburgers tomorrow and I think we'll use one of our last tomatoes as garnish. 

2. Dress my boys in tights (though we call them "long socks" to soften the blow).  They are the best long underwear ever for small ones.  It keeps the socks on, and in Ezekiel's case, the chubby calves covered.  His little calves pour over the top of his socks and are never covered by his pants.  Long socks are the perfect solution!  We find them locally and they have pictures of dump trucks, motorcycles and race cars on them.  Which makes it much more convincing for the little boys wearing them. 

Elias modeling a pair of long socks

Two brothers in their socks

They're going to be good buddies and will more than likely keep Mom hopping with all the mischief they discover together!

  3. Wear a bathrobe with matching sweats out in public.  It is one of the acceptable options for winter dressing here.  And with the investment of $45, I'm walking the streets in my bathrobe!  It is complete with sequins spelling out "Romeo Life" and a styling silhouette of a girl and her poodle.  When I saw these pictures I laughed out loud.  I told Austin it's funny to think that wearing this outfit is my form fitting option.  And yet it is still bulky and has me looking as large as a barn. 

 4. Sweep my kitchen floor out my front door.  Over top of our concrete kitchen floor, we've laid a carpet for the winter.  The floor crumbs are real.  Instead of using a broom and dustpan, I've adopted the local solution of just sweeping it out the door.  Most dustpans don't rest flat on the floor, which can prove frustrating.  And the little birds are quick to pick at the crumbs. 

The crumbs collecting at the door.  I did pick up the paper/crafting trash before I swept the rest out the door.  

5. Buy local long johns.  Leapord print and all, and I love them.  The microfleece lining makes them super warm.  They are one size fits all, so the inseam is a little short.  But for $6, I can't complain!  Don't have a photo, and don't know if I'd post if it I did.

Just thought I'd share some of the new solutions to life we've discovered lately.  

My Christmas present from Jesus

Thanks to all for praying for our power.  I was finishing up preparations for our Christmas Eve dinner when we had a knock at the door.  2 electricians from the electric department were there to check on our second line.  After calling our landlord daily for almost a week, I was starting to doubt that anything would happen.  That morning the thought crossed my mind "What if they did come in time for Christmas?"  Rather than my far to "usual" response of dismissing it, I chose to surrender it to Jesus.  "If they come or not, You are still good.  You are still enough." 

Once I realized who was at the gate, I started praying out loud from my kitchen window.  Blessings on their hands, their work, their families.  That they would come in the cold at the end of their long day, to help me.  Gratitude spilled over. 

My poor kids were all geared up to open presents.  And it was put on hold.  I assured them that waiting would be worth it and it wouldn't take long.  The problem wasn't directly on our roof.  Austin walked with them, following the line down the road to where it was corroded.  They made a quick fix, but explained the line will need to be replaced.  Not long after Austin came into the kitchen to explain we were on the second line and it was working!  Oh the joyful dancing that broke out in the kitchen . . . on my part.  He's more the reserved realist.  It won't last all winter, it will need replaced.  But for now, we've had power all night long since Monday. 

Christmas morning we had a great call with my parents and then a leisurely breakfast.  I was sitting in my rocking chair putting Zeke down for his nap, at 10 a.m., when the power went off for the day.  I can't explain the joy that filled my heart.  For weeks the power has gone off at 8 a.m., on the dot.  Yet Christmas morning, while still on our normal line of power, we had it 2 extra hours.  2 extra hours to open stockings with lights on.  Extra hours so I could take a shower with water and electricity at the same time (cause we do shower by headlamp if the water is on!).  2 extra hours of sheer Grace! 

And in a place where no one acknowledges His birthday, I know it wasn't on behalf of my celebration.  It wasn't cause someone decided to be nice.  It was because the gracious hand of the Almighty Father, saw a mama's frail heart and poured out grace.  I could almost feel His smile over me.

That night as we prayed together as a family, we celebrated that with lights or without them; with all the fun holiday food or without it . . .the best part of Christmas is that He came to be with us.  And He has not left us alone. 

Prayer for the second line

It's been a week and a half now that our second power line hasn't been working.  We've known this line was an extra gift of God's grace.  At the beginning of electricity rationing this fall, it meant we still had power during the days.  As the days grew colder, it changed to only 2 extra day time hours.  But we still had power all night long.  I didn't realize how much that helped, until it stopped working.  The power was never very strong, but we'd switch over to our second line before bed and it would keep our three electric heaters running all night long.

Three nights ago, at the end of a very cold week, we woke up to 45F in our bedroom.  The power has been going out at 10:30 and coming on around 4:30 or 5 a.m.  Without fail, Zeke wakes up when the power goes out, and then through the night when he's cold.  To light the gas heaters (that aren't safe to leave on all night) often wakes at least one child.  And then Elias wakes up every morning when the electricity returns, and has been making his way to our bed.  We are slowly figuring out a rhythm, but I'll be honest, I'd rather not limp along this way all winter long!

We've called everyone we know to call and so finally today 2 older men who were for the electric company showed up.  Of course I was home alone with the kids when they finally came.  A woman's word here is useless.  They looked at our electric box and assured me the power would come.  I told them it hadn't come, that it was broken up the line.  He told me he fixed the line last night.  I told them I had 2 babies and that our landlord won't allow us to burn a wood or coal heater, as it would ruin the walls.  How am I to keep my babies warm and from getting sick?  The old man looked me in the eye, patted my shoulder and said "Don't be afraid, the power will come."

We flipped the breaker tonight to the other line, and there is no power.  Nothing has changed.  I would love for you to pray for me!  Pray that the line would be fixed, yes!  Pray that if it's not, He would give us great strength and perseverance to make it through long, cold and dark nights.  Pray for our marriage; as you can imagine, bitter, cold sleepless nights are far from romantic.  But pray too for my heart.  Right now, I feel lied to.  To share honestly my desperation to keep my children warm and well and have a man tell me a flat out lie is hard!  I honestly just want to harden up and pull back.  Pray for me that I don't. 

Cutting teeth and all it's process!

I’ve taken quite the blogging break.  As of late, 2 of my friends here have encouraged me to take it back up again.  It’s funny that we live in the same town and see each other multiple times a week, but they read my blog.  I process things out more when I have opportunity to sit down and write it all out.  It’s not to read my blog that they’ve encouraged me to start it back up; they know it helps me process; it helps me pull back from the demands of life and look hard for Jesus and what he is doing in and around me.  Look hard for the messages He is writing, though sometimes it feels more like carving, on my heart.  So I’m going to try.  There have been countless blog entries I’ve written in my brain.  I don’t know if I’ll back track or not, we’ll see what time, electricity and internet allow. 

I left off at “And now there’s Four,” that was before Zeke was even 1 month old.  Now he’s pushing 9 months; pulling up on everything and blabbering lots (though right now he’s miserably sick and just doing a lot of clinging to Mama).   

His first two teeth have come through, and started to make their appearance right around Thanksgiving.   Life with four has been incredibly stretching for me.  Most days I feel like I can’t do the minimum of life’s demands, let alone anything extra.  Thanksgiving was quickly growing all consuming; what yummy goodies would I make out of how many substitution ingredients?  Oh and of course create a Thanksgiving focused lesson or 2 for homeschool.  But with this baby I’ve learned new culture things.  

 If Aobistani culture does anything really well (and they do many things well) they celebrate it up when it comes to stages of life.  My personal opinion is that’s because of such high infant mortality.  Babies cut there tooth here and you make a special kind of Osh using wheat berries and deliver it to all your neighbors and relatives.  I had set in my heart I wanted to do it; wanted to take this opportunity to lean in and be more like those that live around me.   Of course I resolved to do so, before I knew he would cut his teeth around Thanksgiving.  When I shared with my teammates that this was something I wanted to do, I was reminded that “it will probably mean more to you that you do it like them, than it will mean to them” and it really was true. 

Thursday we had a wonderful all day Thanksgiving celebration with our American friends.  Sorry no pictures to prove it.  And Friday, we served up and delivered the Osh.  But the Osh was much more of a process than I would have anticipated.  It took us, Auntie (our new house worker) and me, all week to prepare it.  But it was such a great process for me.  Through each step of the process, God had little messages for my heart.  

This is Auntie

First we picked through the wheat, slowly examining one handful at a time for rocks or stray lentils.  These 8 months, with 4 young kids have provided ample opportunity for God to pick through my heart and character, removing rocks and stray bad attitudes all along the way.  Day two, we ground and washed the wheat. We ground the 4.5 pounds of wheat by hand in a mortar and pestle ¼ cup at a time.  Around a table cloth on the floor, Auntie and I (with Elli and Elias occasionally pitching in) separated the husks off the wheat.  Hours later, with sore hands, we washed the wheat and placed it on the same cloth in front of a heater to slowly dry.  In retrospect, with a little space and time, I’m so grateful to God for His loving attentive sanctification of me in this season.  There is a lot more of “this season” of small children to go, but over the mortal and pestle He spoke sweetly to my heart of His desire to use these hard days, these stretching days to remove the bitter husks on my heart.  Day three, Thanksgiving afternoon, my teammates helped me on the second round of grinding; taking the dry wheat berries one more time through the mortar and pestle to remove more of the remaining husks.  We talked, washed dishes and ground wheat. 

 
Friday morning we lit the fire by 8:30 a.m., cause we had to cook it in a large pot for hours and hours. 

Potatoes, carrots, onions, 1.5 kg of beef, a liter of oil, and a lot of water.  What you gain in the wheat you lose in the oil.  By around 2 p.m. the osh was ready to serve and deliver.  

Oh how flattering all the layers of winter dressing are.  I swear, I'm not quite this hourglass in form! :)

I quickly carried it, large plate by plate, to my surrounding neighbors; up the road to Ethan’s teacher and school director; Austin delivered by vehicle to those who lived further away.  Though the greetings were short and the plate of hot osh was quickly passed, in my heart I celebrated.  God has faithfully brought me this far!  My neighbors know; they heard Zeke’s middle of the night screaming fits when his guts hurt so bad and there was nothing I could do to help him.  They know how many party invitations I’ve passed on because I have little ones at home and can’t attend.  Ethan’s teacher and director have experienced firsthand all my cultural blunders, the various times Ethan arrives at school unaware of what he was supposed to have or wear.  His mama’s been stretched thin.  My dear friends and teammates have listened to my heart pourings and have seen the struggle and labor of it all.  They have loved and walked with me.  Yet, He is so faithful and what He has begun in me, He will complete.  Even in the hardness of it, may I see His tender touch at work in me!

Now there are four

Isn't it crazy to think all that is packed into a newborn body?  All the potential, the individuality, the talents, likes, dislikes and more.  It's the re-occuring question these days; who does Ezekiel look like?  I honestly don't know.  But even more fun to think about is what will Ezekiel be like?  6 1/2 years is our oldest, and there is so much depth and breadth to who he is.  Way more than I ever dreamed I would know when he was just 10 days old.  That's one of my favorite things about my kiddos; each has their very own unique personality.  There is no doubt they are fearfully and wonderfully made!  And I'm blessed to get to know them. 

 Ethan

 Ellianna

 Elias

Ezekiel

The Four!

Gogo and Babu Time!

In the waiting for his arrival, in the welcoming and the partying afterwards, we had great times with Babu and Gogo while they visited us in Turkey!

The day before my mom arrived, the kids and I did a grocery run.  They know their Gogo and insisted on buying ice cream and ice cream cones to have for our first lunch together. 

And you can see the ice cream cones were heartily welcomed by all members of the family!  

We LOVE ice cream!

 We waited to celebrate Elli's 4th birthday until Gogo arrived. 
 Doing eachother's "make-up" was only one of the ways Gogo
joined in the fun!

 Lots and lots of reading!  By the end of her time here, Elias would pick a book and take it to her to read to him.  Regardless of if she was working on something else!

 Often twice a day trips to the park directly outside our apartment, Gogo and Babu joined in all kinds of fun and watched as Ethan, Elli and Elias all learned new skills and games at the park. 

 

 We adventured together on the ferry and around town, and experimented with various types of local food!

 

 We celebrated Ezekiel's arrival in Amershek style, with donuts; chocolate, cream-filled, covered in sprinkles!

 And of course, family fun nights together!  Enjoying ordered in Papa John's pizza (AMAZING!), popcorn and a movie!

Thank you Babu and Gogo for coming and being a part of our world!  We love and miss you already!