- sleeping in a big girl bed
- potty training
- saying "good bye" to pacie
So for Elli . . . in less than 4 months we'll be back in America. A totally new place for her. And then 3 months later, she'll have a new little baby around. I think the easiest change for her will be to a big girl bed; especially with a big brother that models staying in it, except at 6 in the morning. She can only have pacie when she's in her bed, ideally for naps and bedtime. But this girl has mastered the art of somersaulting into her crib to get some puppy n' pacie time. As you can see, she loves it. The thought of the next 3 (there and back), 8 hour (if not more) road trips to the capitol; very long airplane travel; and jetlag all without pacie is frightening for Mommy. Let alone if Elli knew about it. Thus the dilemma on when to take it away. And with potty training; when it was so cold her response to any attempts was "cold!!!" I want to start trying, but I'm worried about the diarrhea season that comes with spring and summer around here.
So I'm open to any suggestions, as long as you're okay if I don't follow through on all of them. :) What would you do, or have you done? Am I thinking to much about all of this? I know, from first hand experience, that kids are resilient. Sometimes I feel like my kids have to be resilient to so much, it's hard to take away the little pleasures. And on the thinking goes . . .
11 comments:
I think mom warned me in the weeks preceeding my third bday that "big girls who are 3 don't sleep with a pacie." And then we had a ceremony during my bday party to say good bye to it. (Or maybe it was my 2nd bday? Mom might remember). But she prepped me for it for weeks and made it sound big and important...I think my cousin Jeremy had a ceremony where they threw his pacie off a bridge and then celebrated as a family.
I wouldn't rush the pt unless Elli is showing lots and lots of interest...she will eventually master it! And traveling int'l with a little one who doesn't want to be in diapers, but who doesn't have it all down yet sounds really scary to me. But if she's begging to pt, that's a different story...
You're right... you know best. :)
If I were getting ready to travel like you, I would totally keep the paci and wait on potty training. It will be so much easier!! And years from now, I doubt you'll even remember when you did those things. Well, that's not true. You are Jenni, the woman with a steel trap for memories. :) But anyway...I'd wait.
As for big girl bed. That could go either way. I might go for it now. It won't make traveling harder (I think?) and then you won't have to "introduce" that in America on top of other things. But really, I think either way would be just fine! She'll get it!
I agree with Jessica & Paprika! She gets lots of comfort from the pacie and she will need that with travel and transitions. Maybe you could celebrate going to Mom's day out with the graduation from using the pacie. Jessica's "giving up the pacie" celebration came as she was starting preschool (at 3). We kept that and her blanket in a box in her closet and she could take it down and look at it any time she wanted.
PT should be a relaxed process initiated by Elli. Don't worry, she'll be potty trained by the time she starts kindergarden!! and you won't have a huge struggle over it.
I loved reading everyone's comments! What wise women to get great advice from! I'm terrible at making decisions and always go back and forth.
I agree that life would be simpler with the paci during all the transitions (especially on the road to the capitol . . .) and getting used to her new surroundings here. But it might be nice to have her done with it and done crying it out before the baby comes and you want to keep that baby asleep! Then again, maybe everyone would get more sleep if she kept it til you got back next year (that would get you through the road trip BACK and she could get rid of it for her 3rd birthday). And the big girl bed might be nice to have done before you leave, and might make traveling easier since you wouldn't need TWO cribs.
Pt . . . .hmmmm. You'll be traveling with a newbie potty trainer either way you go. They always regress with transition and you'll be transitioning til you get back. Hmmmmm. Maybe bed before you leave, pt before/after baby comes and still in States, paci at 3rd b-day??? I don't know! I just keep thinking that learning to squat at the halfway point will be fun! Elli will be much better at it than I am!
I love the advice that she'll have it all figured out by the time she's five. How true! Perspective, perspective.
Hey Jenni! Traveling stinks especially in CA. About our 2nd day here on our visa run, we returned to the guest housing apartment and told Calvin it was time to go home. He literally broke down at the door and didn't want to go in, he wanted to go home. Poor kid. Their little minds just can only understand so much.
I know we waited on the paci thing until we were at a place of some consistency in our lives. It actually led to more snuggle time after it was gone.
It seems like if Elli has her favorite things in the bed, the actually bed won't be that big of transition. It was more of a transition for us, when Calvin decided to climb out of his crib. He had no problems, and it actually makes traveling much easier! But every child is different.
As far as potty training I agree with all the other comments. I didn't really push it, until Calvin suddenly rufused to wear his cloth diapers and it was a battle every diaper change. I knew we'd be out on our visa run and knew they had real toilets in most public places, which makes it so much easier to go out with him and knowing we would not have to figure out how to use squaties while potty training.
I know you'll receive the wisdom to make these tough calls.
i'm all about waiting on p.t. until BAM! one day--they just do it! saves SO much stress and effort.
postponing paci-weaning a few months couldn't hurt, and it sounds like it might be really helpful to have around for awhile longer. maybe you can have a ceremony where she gives them to the new baby :) maybe she'll feel "older" once she starts helping with the new baby and it won't be as hard to give it up. ???
you're a great mama...you'll figure out what's best!
I'm not a mommy and have no memory of when I made the aforementioned transitions myself so . . . take this advice for what it's worth. I'd say don't do anything that is going to stress you (the prego and packing mamma) or her out in the next 5 months. Paprika is right. 10 years from it will not matter to you or her how long she used a pacie, how old she was when she was pt trained, or when she started sleeping in the big girl bed. Whatever seems right to you!!
I so agree with Melody...don't stress yourself! I keep trying to get Stella to give up warmed up milk, but she loves it and sobs when it is cold. So I think it won't really hurt her to hold on to this one thing she loves. (And I drink steamed milk when I go out!) Maybe it is the same with her paci? I believe there will come a time when all those things just happen without being huge stressors. Of course, I don't do the kind of traveling you do, so I am sure you will know best Jenni!
Just for the record, the comment from "David" is from "Laurie"!!! Just so you know Dave's not giving you parenting advice, Jenni! :)
Such good words, I really don't need to give mine...
I'd say by age 5 she should probably be potty trained, pacie free and not sleeping in a crib!! Whenever that happens between now and then should depend on what is easiest and least stressful for you and her!
I never potty "trained" my kids. They just eventually did it (the twins were between 2.5 and 3 yrs and Josh was just over 3). Might sound late for some, but it was not stressful and void of power struggles. To be honest, diaper changing can be easier than having a newly "trained" kid who wants to check out every public bathroom. Traveling is definitely easier with a diaper on when no bathroom is in sight!
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